It's as simple as that.
I called a friend to wish her a Merry Christmas because I'd promised her I would, and it all spilled out. I don't remember how or why, but she was regaling me with stories of going out to buy even more stuff to give to everyone and to cook and to eat, and there it came, there it was, I blurted it right out:
Well, you know, I mean, I'm just really pretty uncomfortable with a lot of this stuff, especially the present thing. I mean, I love the idea of presents, but it's gotten so weird and these days, I have people who can barely feed their kids giving me presents and what the hell do I need with a box of chocolates anyway and I just don't get it.
I think Christmas used to be a good idea which has gone completely out of control.
Needless to say, my friend (on her way out to buy even more presents and even more food and booze) disagreed and gave me a stern warning that went along the lines of "Well, that attitude won't fly here!!"
And this is someone who wonders why I haven't exactly gone out to visit her in a number of years.
Of course, the castor oil incident didn't help matters much (convincing me to take castor oil [stupid stupid stupid] then inviting 20 people over for a party for me despite the fact I was in the bathroom throwing up and otherwise the entire time).
(I don't know, kind of passive aggressive maybe, but then I think well, they don't like me anyway, I'll just get on with my life yet somehow that always leads to some huge blowup and old friends WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DO ANYWAY WITH THEM???)
Aye. So somehow today's conversation reminded me of that. Maybe because it made me feel about 1/24th of an inch high because, rather than spending everything I have to my name, I'm painting the ceiling.
I've never really come out and said it before, but I'm saying it now: I really hate Christmas. And somehow dKos seemed like the right place to do it.