I quit my job. There was something about those 12 - 14 hour days, that long commute, the trying to get through to students who don't
want to think, the pay ... my annoyance at not being able to take a single day off ... the new administrator who believes threats and The Platte College Model constitute effective management --- well, there's something about all of that which finally did me in.
So I quit. Never mind the administrator will be gone soon enough, because her ethos usurps the university's goals, and has resulted in little more than an exodus.
Never mind that jobs are scarce, unless you're a Backhoe Dude.
Instead, buried deep beneath my burnout and exhaustion are tendrils of excitement --- that "I have my life back" feeling. New beginnings. The chance to do genuinely good and necessary things, fawn over the critters, spend Sunday mornings in bed, go to Mexico ...
... and so my journey through the wasteland, my long and dark night, my exile is almost over. And with this has come an abrupt realization: I need to go on a diet.
There are no recipes in this edition of What's For Dinner?, no exotica, no wild and crazy Thai dishes. Instead, this time around, we're tackling the dreaded
D word: Diet. I'm going to talk about how I've been going about figuring one out --- and why going on a diet can be exactly the right psychological move for a major life change.
And you? You tell me all about that wonderful, non-diet dinner you had. Or commiserate. What are you having fior dinner?
Shedding skins
The diet thing didn't make sense at first. I despise diets --- especially because I do loves teh food! Mmmmm, Green and Black's 70% chocolate bars. Cream on top yogurt shakes. Chicken with mountains of bean thread and sesame oil and ginger and hot pepper. Grilled onions and pecan pie filling!! Southern Brown Rice cooked in buffalo broth and flavored with fresh thyme and garlic and vegetables from the garden.
It's hard to give up.
But I have to. Because, you see, this isn't just any diet --- this is literally about shedding my skin, the accumulation of ^whatevers^ from the last few years --- and especially this seriously underpaying, overworking job.
So there's a psychology beneath it all which makes me willing to accept the sacrifices.
And, boy, is this ever going to mean sacrifices.
But which diet?
I have some personal physical quirks which require me to eat in certain ways, so it's important that I make sure that my way of eating doesn't exacerbate existing problems or lead me to dis-ease. It's my belief that everyone should base their eating on being healthy, but ultimately, it's up to each individual. And if someone chooses to, for example, treat their diabetes with drugs alone so they can chow down on all the brown beans and frybread and sweet tea and pie they want til their pancreas finally gives out completely and even insulin shots on top of the meds do nothing and their sugar rarely, if ever, drops below 400, that's their choice, I suppose.
But I don't want that for me or for the ones I love. I've seen it happen too many times. I live in a place where the dialysis clinic is the place to meet, where amputation and kidney failure are just a part of every day life.
No way am I going there. Besides, I don't like drugs. And I don't like being unhealthy. And I want to live for a long time with the best of health possible.
So I consider my own foibles when considering diets.
First, I'm a lifelong hypoglycemic with a very strong family history of diabetes. Grandparents, great aunts, sisters, you name it --- diabetic.
Second, I'm celiac, meaning I have a gluten intolerance. I seem to be in better shape than many celiacs --- I can tolerate small amounts of wheat, for example, without landing myself in deep trouble. Too much, though, and I am down for the count with migraines.
Eating for these two segues rather nicely. The celiac keeps me off most processed foods and simple carbs, which is crucial for someone with a strong genetic inclination to diabetes. I can't eat doughnuts every morning or have pie for dinner every night or depend on pre-made bread to fill the gaps in a meal --- and I'm certainly not willing to pay mucho $$$$ for that absurd gluten free crap.
But I also need fat. I have bursitis in one hip from a childhood injury. And oddly, fat keeps that in check. Unlike many people with old injuries like mine, I've never had to resort to exotic prescriptions or surgeries or steroids. Instead, I learned quickly that lowfat diets make it absolutely crazy, while a reasonable amount of fat --- and lots of water and exercise --- make it seem to disappear.
Although I did go through that for a while before I figured it out --- I was certain I was going to have to have hip replacement surgery at a bizarrely young age.
I don't think that anymore.
Besides, fat is an extraordinary help with hypoglycemia. Thanks to fat --- and protein --- I can teach three classes in a row without suddenly going into a hypoglycemic crash midway through a lecture.
Oh, lordy, hypoglycemia is just another trendy ailment
Well, yes, for some people. But I've always had problems with it, bad enough that when I was young and not watching my eating, passing out was a fairly regular thing for me. There have even been periods of time when I've been characterized as a "creative genius," but not for anything I did. Instead it was because I get so spaced out when my blood sugar goes low.
And, before we got to the bottom of it, I was even sleep walking and sleep eating --- rare (but not that rare) consequences of my blood sugar plummeting in the night.
Iow, I really am a hypoglycemic. I'm not a wannabe hypoglycemic or a victim of reading too many low carb books --- I am a hypoglycemic. And lifelong hypoglycemics like me are at very high risk of developing diabetes because, if I understand correctly, we already have errors in the way we metabolize sugars. Couple that with a strong family disposition for diabetes, and I need to watch it.
The good news is, I've gotten pretty adept at staving it off. My last serious episode occurred several years ago when I first quit smoking. Nobody told me that people with blood sugar problems need to be careful when they quit smoking because smoking is what I call a sugar kicker --- it literally bunts that glucose right into the bloodstream.
So several weeks after quitting smoking, I was getting seriously spacy, and assumed it was the result of no nicotine ... til one morning, i walked into the kitchen and crashed. I don't think my blood sugar had ever been that low, and it took me a very long time to come around.
My doctor's reaction? Oh yes, that can happen. Grrrrrr. But I learned that when I finally quit smoking, I had to up my carb intake to compensate ... which is one of the ways I've ended up in my current, um, plush predicament.
So what does any of this have to do with deciding on a diet?
By considering my own personal predilections, I've already narrowed my choices. My best bets are a relatively low carb diet with little to no processed foods, thanks to the celiac and genetic predisposition to diabetes --- something based on meat and veggies, due to hypoglycemia and that diabetes thing again --- and something with reasonable (haha) amounts of fat due to bursitis and hypoglycemia ...
Atkin's is out. Tried it some years ago and gained weight! I know, I know, I didn't do it right or whatever --- but I remain uncertain about some of his claims, although I am certain of others.
Sugar Busters, I love! But it isn't quite extreme enough for me. I think it's a great diet for people who could possibly acquire diabetes in the future, but don't really quite have a strong genetic tendency. For me, though --- not quite.
Going vegetarian and doing meat substitutes are also out --- although secretly, I would love to do it. But I loves my meat! Besides, I also can't eat soy. Soy gets into my stomach and ... sits there. And recently, I discovered that about 50% of the population is unable to digest soy. So to heck with that.
Besides, if you're hypoglycemic like me, protein is da bomb! Meat and nuts and cheese keep me standing. Unlike even complex carbs, which seem to evaporate in no time flat, proteins and fats keep me steady. I can eat a high protein breakfast at 7 a.m --- say, a small serving of buffalo meat with an egg scrambled with goat cheese and greens and tomatoes --- and not even think about food til 3 in the afternoon.
By contrast, a bowl of oatmeal or yogurt with fruit, and I am flat on my back by 9-10-11 a.m. --- sometimes even earlier.
Wait ... stop with the tangents and get back to diets
Okay, okay already!
Dr. Ornish? Out, for obvious reasons. No doubt, he would have a cow at the amount of fat I eat.
Weight Watchers? Eh. They claim to be careful with the carbs, but they aren't. They remind me of the directives given to many diabetics, to follow the American Diabetes Association's recommended diet which means basically just watching the carbs.
Hahahaha, that works real well. Want me to tell you about the fellow teacher who follows that advice and ended up in the hospital after eating some birthday cake because he had no guidelines as to what is and is not an acceptable food or amount of food? The ADA's idea of guidelines?
Healthy eating includes eating a wide variety of foods including vegetables, whole grains, fruits, non-fat dairy products, beans, and lean meats, poultry and fish. [...]
People with diabetes can eat the same foods the family enjoys.
Oh, yea, that's working real well.
Well, how about the Zone? Good grief, I want to diet, not starve to death. Jeebus. My dogs eat more than that!
Protein Power or the Neanderthal Diet? Um, I don't think so. First, while reading up on trans-fats some months ago, I read a positively ferocious defense of them by the guy who wrote Protein Power. Doesn't give me a lot of reason to trust him.
And second, I'm sorry, we're not neanderthals. Well, okay, most of us aren't. We're omnivores, just like dogs. And we each have our own unique little bodily quibbles.
So I find the premise of this diet absurd --- almost as absurd as The Blood Type Diet. Puleeeese! Look, I'm rh negative, so does that mean I should eat like a Basque for my health?
Granted, if I did, I'd likely be very happy. Fat and happy. Mmmmm, I do love that Basque food!
ENOUGH WITH THE TANGENTS!
Oh. Sorry.
Okay, so this is what I've decided:
I've been looking over The South Beach Diet and, although not perfect, it seems like a good place to start. I'm well aware the weight loss during Phase 1 is all water, but who cares? It's no longer 105 degrees out so it's not like I need the extra water for sweating like a pig.
Besides, if I can knock off ten pounds, I'm almost home free!
Granted, South Beach appears to suffer some of the same pitfalls as Atkin's and similar diets. But there are some differences.
First, there's an emphasis on good fats: olive oil, fish and similar.
Second, the diet does emphasize some pretty healthy foods: low fat yogurt instead of ::whimper:: cream on top, complex carbs like real oatmeal instead of that silly instant stuff, things like that.
In addition, and maybe most importantly for me, there is some focus on meal planning and portion size. Not a lot, but some.
And portion size is, I suspect, my Waterloo. That, and too damned many meals of bean thread and Southern Brown Rice. Plus that pecan pie filling once or twice a week. And cream on top yogurt shakes laden with half the fruits in the house, extra bananas, pretty much everything I can shove into the blender.
OMG, they're good!
But I can't have one til I can get back into my jeans.
::drumroll:: The envelope please
So a copy of South Beach Diet just arrived at my home a short while ago. I'm going to sit down and read it, just to make sure.
In the meantime, for breakfast today, I had a nice bowl of ::whimper:: lowfat yogurt with ground flaxseed sprinkled on top. Lunch was a medium sized buffalo burger, sans bun or condiments of any sort, and a helping of ::shudder:: broccoli.
And dinner? I don't yet know. The odd thing is, I was starving earlier in the week when I first began cutting that portion size! But now? Not so much. Feeling pretty good.
The odder thing is, I have had only one hypoglycemic dip today, and that's because I forgot to eat until about 4 p.m.
Hmmm. That's interesting.
In any case, I'll let you know what my dinner ends up being.
Finis
So I didn't get so much into the psychology of it all. But you really don't want me to at this point, do you? I mean, good grief, this is long enough and we've got food to talk about!
So how about it? What are you having for dinner? Any disasters? Any real treats? Any fellow travelers along the dark and lonely path which is caloric deprivation?